My reviews of powerpoint pitches for the class project

The Source:

I love The Source's idea. I love the way the way the presenter started out with a history of social media, including exact years, sites I've never heard of or used, and what they are today. Personally, I think that the idea of having a one-stop-shop for multimedia, entertainment, and news is a great idea. I think it would be an easy place for users to find whatever they are looking for. In fact, that's how I've set up my Facebook. It's news, entertainment, and multimedia, but not to the extent I would like. I wonder if The Source's creator would have it be a social site, as well, so that friends could share things?

There isn't much I would change about this presentation, but if I were a potential investor, there are a few things that would turn me away:

1) For one thing, the second slide with the history has a misspelling. Not the end of the world, and I'm sure my PowerPoint isn't flawless either, but it's important to make it look brilliant. You've got a great idea - now prove it!

2) I think for a site proposing multimedia and news and entertainment, the presentation probably could have more pictures, videos, collages to show exactly what the intent of the presentation was. The presenter used 3 pictures throughout 15 slides. I'm a visual person. Show me what you mean. 

3) I think that the company mission should have been spelled out clearly from Slide 1. I love that the presenter had history in the presentation, but that stuff should come after the so called "nutgraf" of the presentation. I want to know what your company does and what you want for it before you tell me why I need it. As an investor, I need to understand before I can think about investing, right?

4) Lastly, and probably most importantly, the presentation hit on a hot topic: porn. Now, I know that we're all familiar with the porn industry. However, I think it's unprofessional to reference that in a presentation to investors. Many people know about porn, but few know what porn implies, which is human trafficking, men and women on drugs without the ability to make full consent to what they're doing, and people doing it to make ends meet without any actual desire to do that. To call it "successful" in a presentation is inappropriate. The porn industry is visual and physical prostitution. It plays upon the hunger of individuals for lust. It does not actually offer any good product as it exploits the human body and allows for awful, illegal things to happen. Porn is illegal. You'd be better off talking about downloading music from the Internet for free than talking about porn, unless you allow porn in your website. Further, the people who watch porn often have problems themselves, which could be anything from an addiction to porn and masturbation, or problems in their marriages and other relationships. You never know what your team of investors could be dealing with behind a computer screen, so when it comes to raunchy stuff, keep it out.

Focused Fencing:

The presentation about Focused Fencing was clear and direct. I know what it is offering me -- both online and print. I know how often it will come out, what any potential money could be used for, and the presentation somehow sounds confident. I love how the presentation even talks about competition. I think most of the pictures used were good for the visual effect. The only thing I wish there was a little bit more of was fencing history since you mentioned it was one of the first Olympic Sports, but it's not necessary to the presentation. I also liked how the presentation was very direct about being local instead of trying to play it off as something huge and famous.